Mandiri (ability to be independent and not dependent on others)

Do I sound heartless if I keep reminding my kids I would charge them rent if they still stay with me if they turn 21? well I do exactly just that albeit with the best of intention. I want my kids to think that his dad whom they cheeckily say their "24 hour atm" will not always be there to support them. I want them to be aware that everything they have now is not just there by pure luck but really by sheer hard work. I keep telling my kids that I was already away from my parents since I was 11 and I actually never asked a single cent (which is actually true) since then. Okay I did go back once a year during the school holidays and stayed with my parents but I never asked any money from them as I had my scholarship allowance to cover my expenses everytime I came back to Brunei. By the time I finished school at 22 and back to Brunei, I already had a job and I actually gave my parents money to buy groceries and I helped them cover the household expenses.
When I think of it now, the greatest gift that my parents gave me was allowing me to be away that early age. I dont have any regrets for leaving them at that early age. I learned to become very independent. I was ever more determined to study hard and worked my way up to get a good education. No, I wasnt fed on a silver spoon. I wasntnt a spoilt brat. My early years were spent at a Government malay school not a fancy private or international school. I was only given 20 cents a day (and sometimes with no pocket money at all). I want to remind my kids now unlike their atm machine dad, they are now in the most expensive private schools and its fully covered all thanks to the previleges given to their "atm machine" . In fact when I was at a young age, me and my eldest sister were already taught on how to earn our own pocket money. I remember the time when my mum used to leave us at Pantai Muara selling keropok and snacks at the weekends. I also remember the time I would be selling kacang rebus (steamed groundnuts) everytime there was a "sabung ayam" in our kampung. Honestly I had no idea if that time cock fighting was illegal or if it had entered our legal dictionary as a crime of cruelty to animals. I would also be going to the rivers trying to catch mud crab (which we call membintur) and the nearby forest for edible wild mush room and "bayam hutan" (wild spinach) or rabung nibung. These are edible young shoots of the wild spiky nibung palms. The spiky torns are actually sharp and can cause nasty prickly stings if you accidently step on them. Their tiny torns can get stuck under your skin and can become infected if you dont squeeze them out.

I actually became quite an expert on the art of survival. I know mushrooms that grow wild on trees expecially rubber trees are edible and those that grow on land are dead poisonous. I know where would be the best places to get karamunting or kelamunting which are wild berries, rebung nibung and occassionaly I would follow my older cousin, abang usop to catch the pelanduk (mouse deer). At that age I became so stupidly daring too. I remember when I was about 9 or 10, Abang usop, my brother and I went to the river estuarine in Serasa to catch the mud crab. one of our traps actually lost its nylon rope which we would normaly tie around the mangrove tree along the estuarine. The estuarine was probably 10 0r 15 feet deep and I challenged my brother to look for the lost trap in the murky waters of the estuarine. My eldest brother didnt dare to jump into the water and I did. I actually found the trap. Now of course, I realise that wasnt the wisest thing to do as now I know that estuarine is actually infested with crocodiles!

It has been awhile

wow. it does feel like that I have just awoken from a coma. I have not visited my blog and neither have I attempted to write anything until tonite. I am really sorry stercus. As you probably have heard. I have changed job, changed house and in fact I have changed "ma maison et mon pays" (no, I havent changed my nationality). Je suis maintenant un ambassadeur. yes, that's right. You heard me. It is a new job, a new country and you can say a whole new life for me and my family. And as you can imagine, there is a lot of adjustment to make not only for me but for the entire family. Moving to a new country is never easy. In our case, we have to leave many loved ones behind and some of them I would never even know if I could still see them. I have a very sick mother and mother in law who is suffering from a stroke and a dad who has a chronic kidney failure who is still stubbornly wanting to look for a donor despite advices from a doctor that he is better off on dialysis.

After 3 weeks here, I can say that I am now slowly adjusting to the pace of life here. Its really a beautiful land and the people are really nice too. I will probably start a new blog at least to log a daily account that my family and I encounter during our stay here. The question that I have to decide is whether I should make the blog public. well, I will have to think hard about it later.

I certainly will need to keep a daily diary of things that I do here. At least one day in the future, I will be able to look back and reminiscise the bits and pieces of our life in this new country we now call home at least for the next 2 or 3 years.