The funniest christmas joke

In the spirit of this holiday season, I thought I would like to share this really funny christmas joke.   A young man called Chris from London wanted to buy a Christmas present for his new girlfriend. They hadn't been seeing each other for very long and she lived in Scotland . Chris consulted with his sister and decided, after careful consideration, that a pair of good quality gloves would strike the right note... not too romantic and not too personal. Off he went with his sister to Harrods and they selected a dainty pair of fur lined quality leather gloves. His sister bought a pair of sexy knickers for herself at the same time. Harrods had a free gift wrap offer but the assistant mixed up the two items, the sister got the gloves and Chris unknowingly got the knickers. Good old Chris sent off his gift wrapped present in a parcel with the following letter. Dear Maggie, I chose these because I've noticed that you are not wearing any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for my sister I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears shorter ones (which are easier to remove). These are a very delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and I hardly noticed any marks. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart in them even though they were a little bit tight on her. She also said that they rub against her ring which helps keep it clean. In fact she hasn't needed to wash it since she began wearing them. I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt many other hands will touch them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off remember to blow into them a little bit because they will be naturally a little damp from wearing. Just imagine how many times my lips will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on our next date. All my love, Chris P.S. My mum tells me that the latest style is to wear them folded down with a little bit of fur showing.

need a toothbrush anyone?

When my missus and I went for our short break in Bangkok the other day, one of the things we loved doing was going shopping at the many open night markets scattered around Bangkok. I am very sure that you have come across with those t-shirts put up on display with funny and almost vulgar wordings written on them. But what caught our attention most was one particular t-shirt that says "oral-me" with a very suggestive caricature of a couple. we just bust our gut laughing at how funny the t-shirt was. Of course I wouldn't dare to be caught in the public with that kind of t-shirt here. since this is my personal blog about my life with my family, I need obviously avoid any form of vulgarities lest my daughter would quickly jump and brand my jokes in her own word too "risque"...But I couldn't help and publish this photo which I took recently when I went shopping at one supermarket in town.  I just couldnt believe my eyes when I saw that brand "oral-me" does actually exist!

Well done alai Syafiq!

The PSR results were out and this is the first time the MOE fully jumped on the bandwagon of embracing the "e"  in releasing the exams results for the primary 6. My hats off to MOE! The e-results were released via the sms by simply subscribing to the telcos DST or B-mobile.  My eldest son got A's in all his subjects .  Well done alai Syafiq. You proved to your sister that you could also do the same. Babah is really so proud of you sayang.

Leadership

I thought I should share “10 Thoughts about Leadership” which I stumbled across from Jon Gordon’s blog

1. People follow the leader first and the leader’s vision second - It doesn’t matter if the leader shares a powerful vision, if the leader is not someone who people will follow the vision will never be realized. As a leader, who you are makes a difference. The most important message you can share is yourself.
2. Trust is the force that connects people to the leader and his/her vision - Without trust there is a huge gap between the leader and the vision. Without trust people will stay off the bus. However if people trust the leader they will hop on the bus with the leader and help move the bus forward towards the vision.
3. Leadership is not just about what you do but what you can inspire, encourage and empower others to do.
4. A leader brings out the best within others by sharing the best within themselves.
5. Just because you’re driving the bus doesn’t mean you have the right to run people over - Abraham Lincoln said “Most anyone can stand adversity, but to test a man’s character give him power.” The more power you are granted the more it is your responsibility to serve, develop and empower others. When you help them grow they’ll help you grow.
6. “Rules without Relationship Leads to Rebellion” - Andy Stanley said this and it’s one of my favorite quotes. As a leader you can have all the rules you want but if you don’t invest in your people and develop a relationship with them they will rebel. This applies amazingly to children as well. It’s all about relationships.
7. Lead with optimism, enthusiasm and positive energy, guard against pessimism and weed out negativity.
8. Great Leaders know they don’t have all the answers. Rather they build a team of people who either know the answers or will find them.
9. Leaders inspire and teach their people to focus on solutions, not complaints. (The No Complaining Rule)
10. Great leaders know that success is a process not a destination - One of my heroes John Wooden, the legendary UCLA basketball coach, never focused on winning. He knew that winning was the by product of great leadership, teamwork, focus, commitment and execution of the fundamentals. As a leader focus on your people and process, not the outcome.

 

Asthma Joke

I am still trying to recover from this wheezing and puffing. Funnily enough I managed to finish 2 sets of badminton game after work today albeit rather badly. Though I lost both games, I quite enjoyed sweating out as I really needed to lose that fat.  But being asthmatic is no joke so I made sure I had two puffs of the ventolin inhaler just before the game. At least that probably helped me from collapsing on the floor.

After work, I managed to bring the family to visit my parents as my lil niece, alai dibah who happens to turn three today was celebrating her bday at my parents' house. So happy sweet 3 year old to you alai dibah. My mum looked healthy after the surgery and that was very pleasing to see. Dad with his usual grumpiness couldnt seem to get off his old habit of starting his negative conversation about mum. 

Anyway, I thought I could end today's entry by sharing this asthma joke which was related to me by a friend who likes to poke fun on my current malady:

Matthew sets up Andrew to go on a blind date with a friend of his. But Andrew is a little worried about going out with someone he has never seen before.“What do I do if she’s ugly?” says Andrew, “I’ll be stuck with her all night.” “Don’t worry.” Matthew says. “Just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don’t, just shout Aaauuuggghhh! and fake an asthma attack.”So that night, Andrew knocks at the girl’s door, and when she comes out he is awe-struck at how beautiful and sexy she is. Andrew’s about to speak when the girl suddenly shouts, “Aaauuuggghhh!”

Another lost in translation

Today, I went for a nebulizer treatment. I had one of the worst asthma attacks that morning. For a moment I thought I was going to die in my sleep. I was awaken in the middle of a deep sleep when I felt as if someone smothered me. I was frantically gasping for air and coughing incessantly. Despite that horrifying ordeal, I managed to look at the funny side of things. see, the portable nebulizer machine has this funny label which says: 

"For intra-hospital infection and mormal condition in use, please replase bacteria filter with new ones every patient and/or every 8 hours"[sic]  its probably made in china :-)

Syafiq and his Rubik's Cube

My 11 year old eldest son syafiq is such a show off.  He can solve the Rubik's cube in less than 2 minutes and his time is improving.  His best time now is 1 min 4 seconds.  I can never solve the cube with all the colours on the same side with a perfect match and I can tell you I have been struggling to get it right for as long as I could remember.  I remember when it was such a craze more than 25 odd years ago, my school friends and I would try to outwit each other to solve the "magic cube". I never did and I never will. Now I have my son the poseur who tells me, solving the cube is such a piece of cake! I hate him...