Learning to accept criticisms in really big strides

My entry tonite is about that part of me as a public servant. Yes servant to the public....

I cant believe my luck. I was complaining of chest pain this afternoon and went to a&e thinking that I had asthma attack. instead the doctor wanted to put me under 24 hour observation just to make sure that I do not have any heart condition!! Now I am stuck in this hospital ward. They say that my oxygen level in my blood is low that is why I experience shortness in breath. So they will have to perform further tests. Could this just be my luck?! This is my first time I have to stay overnight at RIPAS. I didnt want to make such a big fuss about it.  I told my missus not to tell my parents or anyone for otherwise they would just go absolute bonkers panicking. Anyway, I was really embarrassed as I bumped into a few people that recognised me. "is the stress really getting on you pengiran?" "eh, I just saw you on TV, stress kah heheh?" "maybe you had too much tv exposure heheh?" were just amongst the few comments that I had. I have long accepted these snide remarks as part of the occupational hazards as I know as a public figure I will never be able to please everyone. There will be people who will belittle us and there will be people who will encourage us.  For as long as the people who belittle us are in the minority, I always say to my officers, we would be on the right track. Because I keep reminding my officers, we are not in this job to be popular.  There would be people especially those who have been investigated by us and those who have been brought by us to face justice and those who are bent on corruption who would never be with us. in fact the Bureau would be their all-time sworn enemy. I took the advice of the people at the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime  (UNODC) of which we work very closely and got our technical assistance from.  As they said our awareness campaign against corruption and our NO to corruption should be louder than anyone else. In fact, strong awareness and prevention strategies are required in the UN Convention Against Corruption the treaty that Brunei is now bound to comply. These are the two key strategies that we adopt. the other being strong law enforcement.  The UNODC now looks at us as one model of strong prevention and education program. We were actually very proud when they sent a representative to Brunei to look closely how we implement this program.  I suppose when it comes to dealing with the public criticism  you will never win but just simply to keep on doing in what you think is best. I am encouraged by the positive notes and words from members of the public who have been very supportive of our efforts.  I keep telling my officers to just focus on the positive words of encouragement.  Of course we need to listen to any dissenting voice if it meant well or if it meant to help us improve. Unfortunately, there would be one or two voices who would be complete rejectionists. These are the people that would normally bark the loudest.  I keep telling my officers that we should not see these as mere challenges but rather opportunities. Opportunities for us to understand why there are dissenting voices because we can also learn from them. 

Happy International Anti Corruption Day

Hello world! May I just wish happy anti-corruption day which falls on today worldwide. Your NO to corruption count. Please visit my official weblog at http://anticorruptionwatch.blogspot.com and our official website at www.bmr.gov.bn.

I really do need a break

How do you make everyone including your friends and families understand that what you are doing is for the sake of this country and the future generation and yet stop short from sounding too corny and idealistic especially to the cynics and to those who would not be able to understand it? Yesterday both my eldest son and my youngest daughter asked me if I am taking some time off from work and would take them abroad. I told them "no sayang, babah has to work" My son cheekily suggested that I should just quit my job.  They started to make comparison that in my previous job, I was able to take time off and bring them abroad like to Singapore or Malaysia even for a short break during the school season.  It is very difficult to tell them that now things are a little bit different. I have more responsibilities and I am more accountable to a lot more people. Even my mum started to make comparison. She came to my house yesterday and began to "sindir" me by saying that my amit (her older sister) has no problem in seeing her children as they would usually spend every weekend together at her home. I just wanted to make her understand that now because of the bigger responsibility, I have to be a public servant first in many occasions and being my wife's husband, my kids' dad and my mum's son would have to fight for second place.  For the last few days, I virtually had no understanding of what day and date it was as I actually had to work on friday and sunday, night and day.  For that part of me as a husband, dad and son, yes I do need a break but I cannot simply abdicate my responsibility as a servant to the public at least not when the public is expecting to see results. I have a mission and I have a mandate. I just wished everyone around me understand me that.

The funniest christmas joke

In the spirit of this holiday season, I thought I would like to share this really funny christmas joke.   A young man called Chris from London wanted to buy a Christmas present for his new girlfriend. They hadn't been seeing each other for very long and she lived in Scotland . Chris consulted with his sister and decided, after careful consideration, that a pair of good quality gloves would strike the right note... not too romantic and not too personal. Off he went with his sister to Harrods and they selected a dainty pair of fur lined quality leather gloves. His sister bought a pair of sexy knickers for herself at the same time. Harrods had a free gift wrap offer but the assistant mixed up the two items, the sister got the gloves and Chris unknowingly got the knickers. Good old Chris sent off his gift wrapped present in a parcel with the following letter. Dear Maggie, I chose these because I've noticed that you are not wearing any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for my sister I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears shorter ones (which are easier to remove). These are a very delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and I hardly noticed any marks. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart in them even though they were a little bit tight on her. She also said that they rub against her ring which helps keep it clean. In fact she hasn't needed to wash it since she began wearing them. I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt many other hands will touch them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off remember to blow into them a little bit because they will be naturally a little damp from wearing. Just imagine how many times my lips will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on our next date. All my love, Chris P.S. My mum tells me that the latest style is to wear them folded down with a little bit of fur showing.

need a toothbrush anyone?

When my missus and I went for our short break in Bangkok the other day, one of the things we loved doing was going shopping at the many open night markets scattered around Bangkok. I am very sure that you have come across with those t-shirts put up on display with funny and almost vulgar wordings written on them. But what caught our attention most was one particular t-shirt that says "oral-me" with a very suggestive caricature of a couple. we just bust our gut laughing at how funny the t-shirt was. Of course I wouldn't dare to be caught in the public with that kind of t-shirt here. since this is my personal blog about my life with my family, I need obviously avoid any form of vulgarities lest my daughter would quickly jump and brand my jokes in her own word too "risque"...But I couldn't help and publish this photo which I took recently when I went shopping at one supermarket in town.  I just couldnt believe my eyes when I saw that brand "oral-me" does actually exist!

Well done alai Syafiq!

The PSR results were out and this is the first time the MOE fully jumped on the bandwagon of embracing the "e"  in releasing the exams results for the primary 6. My hats off to MOE! The e-results were released via the sms by simply subscribing to the telcos DST or B-mobile.  My eldest son got A's in all his subjects .  Well done alai Syafiq. You proved to your sister that you could also do the same. Babah is really so proud of you sayang.

Leadership

I thought I should share “10 Thoughts about Leadership” which I stumbled across from Jon Gordon’s blog

1. People follow the leader first and the leader’s vision second - It doesn’t matter if the leader shares a powerful vision, if the leader is not someone who people will follow the vision will never be realized. As a leader, who you are makes a difference. The most important message you can share is yourself.
2. Trust is the force that connects people to the leader and his/her vision - Without trust there is a huge gap between the leader and the vision. Without trust people will stay off the bus. However if people trust the leader they will hop on the bus with the leader and help move the bus forward towards the vision.
3. Leadership is not just about what you do but what you can inspire, encourage and empower others to do.
4. A leader brings out the best within others by sharing the best within themselves.
5. Just because you’re driving the bus doesn’t mean you have the right to run people over - Abraham Lincoln said “Most anyone can stand adversity, but to test a man’s character give him power.” The more power you are granted the more it is your responsibility to serve, develop and empower others. When you help them grow they’ll help you grow.
6. “Rules without Relationship Leads to Rebellion” - Andy Stanley said this and it’s one of my favorite quotes. As a leader you can have all the rules you want but if you don’t invest in your people and develop a relationship with them they will rebel. This applies amazingly to children as well. It’s all about relationships.
7. Lead with optimism, enthusiasm and positive energy, guard against pessimism and weed out negativity.
8. Great Leaders know they don’t have all the answers. Rather they build a team of people who either know the answers or will find them.
9. Leaders inspire and teach their people to focus on solutions, not complaints. (The No Complaining Rule)
10. Great leaders know that success is a process not a destination - One of my heroes John Wooden, the legendary UCLA basketball coach, never focused on winning. He knew that winning was the by product of great leadership, teamwork, focus, commitment and execution of the fundamentals. As a leader focus on your people and process, not the outcome.