Supermum part 2

Our super mum is responding well to medications. She is still on artifical respiratory but the good news is her bp is way better than before. She passed out her urine today so that means her kidneys are still functioning. Alhamdullilah.
This is just a pic I took with my Nokia E90 outside the ICU.

Strongest mum in the world

I am now at the ICU at our RIPAS Hospital. My mum is now fighting for her life. She has been suffering from a lot of medical conditions for as long as I know. She was diagnosed as having stomach cancer last year and the doctors managed to remove it and she recovered well. She is also a diabetic and suffering from high blood pressure. Earlier this year she was also diagnosed as having a heart condition. My mum is also on medication for her bi-polar condition. Earlier in the evening, she simply collasped and lost her blood pressure. The doctors were simply puzzled why it happened. Luckily she was already being warded when this happened. She was brought to the a&e with no pulse. Her blood pressure went down to 30. At the unit, the doctors and nurses tried to revive her. They broke the news to us that her chances were very very slim. I didnt want to lose hope. I know my mum is the strongest person on this earth. She gave birth to all 9 of us. She went through several operations in her life. I know she will pull through. I know she will not give up. At the a&e she was basically motionless. The doctor informed me that I had to brace for the worst. I whispered to my mum's ear to be strong. I recited the shahada. I know she heard me. She was brought up to the ICU. I was with her through out. At the ICU, they managed to get her bp to 100. She responded to our voices. Alhamdulillah. I was very relieved. Now her condition is still very critical but she is responding to medications. I know she is a very strong woman. That is my mum.

The loneliest job

When I have migraine, I know its time to stop thinking and simply switch off and hit to the land of Nod. I've just had a few assignments completed and the problem with me when I start doing heavy thinking, the grey matter up in my head simply doesn't know how to switch off!

Anyway, I once saw a quote that says "its lonely at the top".  How very true.  There are many times I feel I have the loneliest job and its getting tougher by the day.  Thats the reason I find solace in blogging as I found a way of expressing and letting out my thoughts as if I were in front of a shrink.  This of course is done without compromising my job as I know there are many "donts".  As a lawyer in the public service understanding the legal parameters is just something I cant ignore lest I be made accountable.

I used to think that I could gain enough strength, courage and confidence in my job by every experience that I have to go through in which I really stop to look fear in the face. I when confronted with difficult situations will always say, 'I have lived through more worse than this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along for sure.' I used to go to court.  I used to handle a lot of difficult situations, tough witnesses, tough defendants, tough defence lawyers and tough judges. I have dealt with robbers, gang rapists, thugs and thieves.  That experience in the courts actually had made me a person who can handle any given situation.

But now there are many times I am in a no-win situation. I say " damned if I do, condemned if I dont". If that happens I have little choice and most often than not, I have to do what I think is right not because I want to please anyone but because it is simply the right thing to do under the law. This is the exactly the point that makes me think and wonder on how long I will last in this job.  Investigating people with authority is never an easy job because these people can bite back and when they bite, I know they will bite hard.  They will use every means they know to bite back. 

Initially I got paranoid over this. For many months, I keep myself and my family away from virtually every people that we know except close families. I banned my kids from the internet, blogs, facebook or other social networking sites.  But soon I realise, they are only kids once.  To make them a responsible person is not to hide them from the rest of the world.  They have to lead a normal life. They have to learn to make their own mistakes because I know they will learn from them. I have to live a normal life.  To fight fear is not to hide from it. You have to face it. I want my children to live a normal life, meet their friends at the mall or the movies for as long as they are always responsible and respectful persons and mindful of the job that I have to do.   If I were hiding from the world, I must have done something wrong.  Wasnt it me who actually said, 'corruption and abuse of power is fearful of transparency'? so why should I hide? I once said that public officials will think twice of committing abuse of power if they know if they are constantly being watched and under continuous public scrutiny.  I certainly have to live up and practice what I preach. I know what the legal parameters are.  I know what the OSA says, I know what the PCA says.  I know what the Sedition Act says.  I know what the defamation laws say. I know what the General Order says.  So at the end come what may, it is my world according to stercus accidit!! (please google for its meaning) good night (or rather morning now)

My lil Haziq

Boy, my lil son Haziq who is only 4 is probably the most difficult person that I ever have to negotiate with. I wanted to bring him for a haircut and he insisted that his mohawk would remain. Of course he loves to go to the barber shop as the indian barber would normally give him a lil lollypop as his way of keeping lil haziq still on the chair. I told him that he would need to get his hair cut as it has grown so long. Lil haziq would never say no to that offer but he would as always have a comeback to say at me. 'mohok babah' as he would normally say. I just have to nod yes as I knew saying no would always mean another comeback as he just loved to have the final word. Anyway, to cut the story short when we were at the barber shop, he was quick enough to tell the indian barber what he wanted and the barber understood him as usual.

Majlis Pertandingan Membaca Al-Quran Bahagian Dewasa Peringkat Akhir Kebangsaan Tahun 1430H/2009M

I am now at the ICC attending the annual tilawatil quran. We are expecting our Crown Prince to officiate the event. This annual quran reading competition is held to select the representatives in both the male and female category to represent this country at the annual international event that is normally held in Kuala Lumpur. The competition will run for 2 days culminating with the prize presentation. I am feeling very tired due to a lack of sleep. I have been working all day and night on a few projects. I am at the moment exploring the possibilty of using Facebook in our public outreach program. So far the responses have been very encouraging. Some of the comments and suggestions posted are very good. I will post an article on my official weblog anticorruptionwatch.blogspot.com on why we are pushing our cause on the newer technologies. But I simply would like to simply say this corruption is fearful of transparency because I know as a matter of fact that public officials will think twice of committing abuse of powers especially corruption if they know their actions are under the constant public scrutiny.
This post was made yesterday but somehow my nokia refused to send it.

KFC

Do you know we have our very own KFC a lot earlier than when colonel sanders first set foot in Brunei? Yes, its none other than our Kianggeh Food Court (KFC) situated along the Brunei river.
one of my sisters called me this evening if I would like to eat satay at the KFC. So at this very moment, I am now here at the KFC with my missus and my oldest daughter.
Well, I couldnt remember the last time I actually hung out at this famous open food court along the jalan residency. I am actually surprised that the food court is still around and there are people thronging the area! I remember when I was probably 7 or 8 years old my dad used to bring us here to eat satay or soto hati buyah. He would bring us here usually when he got his pay check. As a corporal in the police band, it was obvious that we couldnt expect much luxury and spending a night outing at the 'KFC' was such a big deal as it was a once in a blue moon occasion. Dad would first tell on the rules of eating the satay here. The stalls would charge the satay we ate by the number of satay sticks left on the table. They would come with different varieties, so dad would tell us that each of us would only get 4 or 5 sticks. There were also occassions when he would 'tapao'(to go) some satays and soto. The scariest part was that he would park his car right infront of the cemetary across the road and left us in the car whilst he ordered the tapao. Tonight I parked my car right at the spot where dad used to leave us and told my daughter exactly that.
I have to say the satay is still very tasty and the cool breeze blowing along the brunei river with the kampung air as the backdrop is such a wonderful experience. My only hope is for the authority to beautify the area further as it can be a great tourist attraction.

Cupcakes making the news?

I am now on my way to work. I cant believe that cupcakes are making the 7 am news! Are we running out of news?