DEad pan jokes

my lil princess says I do not make funny jokes..I guess you be the judge. here goes:

Joke 1:

What not to say to the nice policeman:
I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead (lol)

Joke 2:

Your mama is so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real (ha

hahahhaha)

Joke 3:

Maths problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].

Joke 4:

 man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"   --hahhahahaahha

Joke 5:

Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
You can park in the handicapped spots.

I thought these jokes are funny.