Praying for Babu

Waking up on Friday morning after learning the shocking news that your mum has cancer is not something that I am looking forward to. The sad news has somehow not sunk in yet. There were just too many questions that remained unanswered. why did this thing happen? am I going to lose her? is this curable? what can I do? why is the full diagnosis not released yet? the feeling of helplessness crept in constantly in my head. when the gastro specialist broke the news, I just broke down in tears inconsolable..I really couldnt accept the news. I was just like this little child begging to the doctor to help my mum get better. “is there a cure?” I asked. The doctor said if the cancer is still at an early stage, yes there is hope by removing the cancerous part of her stomach but if it has already spread to other organs then things could become complicated and that was why they needed a full diagnosis by putting her on a CT scan. I was simply frantically calling everyone that I knew at RIPAS to help babu be put on the CT scan on a priority basis. Some were helpful some were none. So I sought help by pleading my mum’s case. I told them the actual endoscopy was done many weeks earlier and now that the specialist confirmed that she has cancer, the least the hospital could do was to put her on a priority list for a full CT scan. I was thankful that my good friend Hj M and Dato S, who is now a permanent secretary. They had helped me a lot to get to the right people. So thank you to both of you sir. I was really upset with some of the nurses at the hospital where my babu was warded. She was admitted at the ward for her high blood sugar level. But earlier in the weeks, she was already seeing the ENT & gastro specialists as she complained of heart burn. She had an endoscopy done on her and the earlier result showed she had stomach ulcers. When I told them that she was supposed to have a second review at the specialist centre, the nurses told me that we couldnt bring her there as she was now already admitted in the ward and she should be in their care and there would be doctors on duty to attend to her so they told me. They kept telling me that mum only had stomach ulcers and her blood sugar level was high and she had gone to see the specialist that morning. But I told them that that the appointment card stated that she had her review at 2 pm that afternoon and the least they could do was to check with the specialist centre if this was true. Not convinced with their explanation, I went to the specialist centre with my wife and little sister and went to talk the specialist myself. He was very gentle and helpful. True enough, there was an appointment for my mum’s review and true enough it was more than just a mere stomach ulcers. I was devastated. There was a mixed feeling of anger and helplessness. I was angry with the nurses for trivializing the situation. I was feeling helpless as I didnt know exactly what to expect.

(written 8 am 10 October)

The good news, mum had her CT Scan done and another good news was also that the result showed her cancer is still at an early stage. Now we all know this is curable. Alhamdullilah. But there is still the lingering question on what best options available to her. She is diabetic and her blood sugar level is still very high. I sought advice from Dr S who is a cancer expert. Whether she would go for a chemo theraphy and surgery to remove the cancerous part would depend on her health condition. so he told me that mum has to be healthy, so the first priority is to get her blood sugar level down to normal. I pray to Allah the Merciful, give my mum the strength. please give her the will to live. Amin.