Age- mind over matter

What does turning 42 mean to a man? Conventional wisdom says (or some might say), for men life begins at 40. Well, that was two years ago. Now at 42, much of that over-hyped cliche seems to suggest anything but true- at least for me. Ever since I turned 40 two years ago, I am in constant struggle to stick to my daily mantra of "eating less & exercising more". Yes, I do get to see those unsightly flabby flesh let me call them my own version of lean oblique muscles otherwise known as the six pack abs.  I am starting to have grey hair in strange places like in my nostrils and..no need to mention here. When I get muscle pains they take ages to recover. Back pains are my constant companion especially when I am sitting down over  20 minutes or so. I am now sleeping for less than 5 hours a day which to me is a good thing (I know I can do a lot of things with 1 hour awake than 1 hour asleep like practicing my golf swing in my bedroom when my wife is sound asleep). I am also taking all sort of supplements in the belief that I can cheat the aging process.

Anyway, this morning I got my birthday hugs from my kids. They also surprised me with home made birthday cards individually crafted by them. Of course my biggest girl kaka Amal had hers in the most sarcastic portrayal of me by having a photo of my head superimposed with the physique of cammelo villagas the hunky six pack professional golfer in his trademark spiderman greenside putt-reading pose which you won't believe it-He was posing naked but with the professional camera angle during the photo shoot, all you see of course is his lean flesh. His photos first appeared in Golf Digest which appeared superb that you wished he was you!
I guess I deserve a little ribbing from the kids. For most of the times it was their dad who is the real bully!

But on a serious note, looking back on my 42 years of existence, my life's experiences like many I am sure, have been full of lessons of pains, sorrows and happiness. My past mistakes and successes, those joys and sadness that I experienced are memories that I normally will share with my kids at the dinner table. I always hope my successes ought to inspire them and my past mistakes as lessons that can be drawn-like one here- always wear appropriate shoes for the right sports. I tore my cruciate ligaments 21 years ago playing badminton on a pair of jogging shoes and now I wished I hadn't done that. Of course, I want to raise my kids in a way they learn to be independent and let them learn from their own mistakes but as any parent would do, I would guide them. The best way of not making an obvious mistake is to avoid from committing it in the first place. Take smoking or taking drugs which we know are bad for our health- Why would you want to do these mistakes if you know they are already bad and they can be avoided altogether?

Anyway, I remember in one of the books I read by Paul Arden, he suggested that between 30-40 you are hell bent on success but between 40-45 you are supposed to repeat success. I hasten to add that at the prime age of 40 something, you should still be hungry for successes but you shouldn't be too selfish not to share what you have learnt with others especially to inspire the young ones. If you are heading an organization, you are supposed to groom the younger ones to emulate your successes. You are supposed to make sure that someone you think most capable should take over your helm and repeat your successes and even better. You had your chances and now it is time for others to prove their mettle.

Anyway as a parting note for this post, below is just some of what I could recall telling my kids of the lessons that I have learned from this beautiful existence we call life:

1. Always look at things in a positive way- the glass is half full.
2. You can take short cuts but don't cheat-you want to avoid the traffic jam than come to the office early or use the short cut to the office as long as you are not committing a traffic offense.
3. Honesty is really a good policy but integrity is at the very top. Integrity is doing the right thing when others are not looking.
4. Never lie - not only because it is bad, but because it is wrong and you'll always get caught at the end
5. Work hard, and enjoy it, and make it lucrative. Whether studying or working for a living, you're going to have to do it...so enjoy it, and made it most lucrative and rewarding as you can in all ways
8. Respect other people and love them.
9. But before you want to learn to love others love yourself first. Take care of your hygiene. Groom yourself always. People perceive you on how you dress and look. If you couldn't care less how you look, it would be difficult for others to love you.
10. Never panic - anything is fixable, it's never as bad as you think, but, also, don't do nothing, act to fix things not let problem fester and get worse..
11.  Make a difference. Okay, maybe not to the World, but to the people around you. Do small things, be charitable, be conscious of people less well off than you. Try to make a small positive difference every day, even if just carrying a bag for an old lady. My lovely iqah was a voluntary teacher with no pay during her summer break here. My lovely erah did a bake sale to raise funds for the help the children fund during the Japanese tsunami disaster.
12. Love. Don't be afraid to give love, or be loved, and tell people you love them
12. Drink at least 5 glasses of water every day.
13. Be curious and inquisitive. Be the one husband and 4 wives. He is How? married to When? What? Who? and Why?
14. Always try to change things for the better.
15. It may sound idealistic to some but all of us should strive to leave this world a better place than we found it.


At 42 (and going strong)I am still enjoying life to it's fullest. I try to learn new stuff every day. I still have that 20 something spirit in me. I'm now trying to learn how to do in line roller blade. On my online bucket list, skiing and kayaking are on top. I may be less endowed on the physique side but the mind is always constantly excited. I still like to challenge myself mentally and physically. I still like to have fun, ride on the ferris wheels or on the kids' rides with the kids (which I call vertigo-torture chambers)!
Anyone who is on my FB network will find out that my life's motto is -"at 20 I was an idealist, at 30 I became a realist but at 40 I want to learn to do the twist!"
So If anyone asked me about my age, I'd say I am only 22 with 20 years experience!