I lost another uncle

I just heard the sad news my uncle on my mother's side had just passed away this morning. He had been suffering from prostate cancer for awhile. I knew his time would come as the doctor attending him said that it was already in advanced stage and gave him a few months to live. When I visited him, my amit (his wife and my mum's very close older sister) was full of hope. She was angry to the doctor for telling her that his ailment couldn't be cured. She said that Doctors should be more positive. I was just nodding my head to show my agreement though I knew in my heart that doctors cannot give false hope to us. That is why when my mum fell into a coma and lost her pulse, I was never angry to the doctors at A&E for informing us to brace for the worst. I could see that they were trying their very best. What is important for us I think is never to give up hope and continue to pray to Al-mighty. To my uncle may you rest in peace. Amin. Al-fatiha.

Call me an idealist but I know you and I can make a difference

If each grain of sand were to say: One grain does not make a mountain, There would be no land. If each drop of water were to say: One drop does not make an ocean, There would be no sea. If each note of music were to say: Each note does not make a symphony, There would be no melody. If each word were to say: One word does not make a library, There would be no book. If each brick were to say: One brick does not make a wall, There would be no house. If each seed were to say: One seed does not make a field, There would be no harvest. If each of us were to say: One person does not make the difference, There would never be love and peace on earth. You and I do make the difference, Begin today and make the difference. by anonymous

Back to school

I cant believe that after more than 19 years, I am actually back to campus. First day of school was more of an ice breaker. we got to introduce our selves. There is a vice president of an organisation from China, directors from various law enforcement agencies in Spore and from Hong Kong and 1 from Botswana who is yet to appear. The NUS campus for this program is actually the old NUS campus at Bukit Timah and not far away from my old college NJC. The building looks colonial but the facilities are fantastic. First day lesson was more of an interactive lesson on globalisation and the financial crisis.  At night as part of the team bonding session, we were brought to a restaurant called Coriander Leaf where we actually had to cook our own food and we would be given prizes for the best prepared food. We were divided into teams and I was in Team 5.  Our team was asked to prepare a fusion peking duck. I had to prepare the sweet and sour onion chutney as the sauce. Kiasu as I was, we actually won 1st prize and we took away the grand prize, a food grater and a set of measuring cups for each of the team member.  I have to say, the restaurant has a fantastic concept. We got to cook and eat our own food. The owner, Sania Ahad is beautiful and hilarious. She and her staff made cooking so fun and enjoyable. At the end the various array of gourmet that we prepared didn't come to waste as we were very hungry.  For one night I became a culinary expert...

The unsung heroes

Tonite's entry on my blog is dedicated to all the unsung heroes at our Intensive Care Unit especially for my school friend of the yesteryears saiful 'karau'. Well, Saiful or si karau as we fondly called him likes to don a short spikey hair and that's where he got his nickname from. You wont actually miss him as he looks exactly like a GI Joe who just got out of a military boot camp. I have known him since we were kids in Singapore. He was actually a year my senior at boarding for Brunei students in Singapore which we called AKBS (Asrama Kerajaan Brunei di Singapura). This was the hostel where at the tender age of 11 I first started to get my first taste of a foreign land. Si karau like many of us had always been good at sports. He took up football, sepak takraw and badminton. He excelled in all of them. I on the other hand was the reluctant sportman. I wouldnt say I was good in sports. But I actually owed it to him. He with the other seniors would drag us juniors to play the games or sports they got us to play. Si Karau was never a bully but because he was so damned good in the sports, we became so determined to outdo him. So he became our iconic mentor of sort.
When mum was admitted at the ICU, he was one of the first person I saw. I had not seen him in ages but I immidiately recognised him by his short spikey hair. Saiful like many male and female nurses there are the frontline staff at the ICU. In fact he is more than just a nurse. He is a qualified APN (I think it means Assistant Practitioner Nurse). If the doctor were a captain of an airplane, he would be like his first officer. Thats how important he is. These are the real heroes as they work tirelessly to keep everyone's hopes for their loved ones like ours alive. Today, si karau called to inform me that my mum was taken off the artificial respiratory.she could now breathe on her own and she was so 'nyanyah' so I was told. That is my mum alright! And now whilst I am waiting to see my mum, I can see these unsung heroes at work. There are oblivious of the countless hopes that have been kept alive by their true dedication and love in their everyday work. Tonite I celebrate you my friend. Thank you karau and the rest of your crew. May Allah bless all of you for all of your good deeds. Amin

Via nokia e90

I am still at ICU. I managed to see babu and she is conscious. The nurse told me that she is now able to breathe on her own. This is really good news. But she is visibly in pain. I told her not to get excited as she is still weak. I could see tears falling down her weak eyes and she was wailing in pain. She asked me for a peice of paper and she wrote this 'bapa, ampun dosa ku'. I know she wanted to see my dad. I told her, dad is now on dialysis in rimba. I know she misses my dad.

Supermum part 2

Our super mum is responding well to medications. She is still on artifical respiratory but the good news is her bp is way better than before. She passed out her urine today so that means her kidneys are still functioning. Alhamdullilah.
This is just a pic I took with my Nokia E90 outside the ICU.

Strongest mum in the world

I am now at the ICU at our RIPAS Hospital. My mum is now fighting for her life. She has been suffering from a lot of medical conditions for as long as I know. She was diagnosed as having stomach cancer last year and the doctors managed to remove it and she recovered well. She is also a diabetic and suffering from high blood pressure. Earlier this year she was also diagnosed as having a heart condition. My mum is also on medication for her bi-polar condition. Earlier in the evening, she simply collasped and lost her blood pressure. The doctors were simply puzzled why it happened. Luckily she was already being warded when this happened. She was brought to the a&e with no pulse. Her blood pressure went down to 30. At the unit, the doctors and nurses tried to revive her. They broke the news to us that her chances were very very slim. I didnt want to lose hope. I know my mum is the strongest person on this earth. She gave birth to all 9 of us. She went through several operations in her life. I know she will pull through. I know she will not give up. At the a&e she was basically motionless. The doctor informed me that I had to brace for the worst. I whispered to my mum's ear to be strong. I recited the shahada. I know she heard me. She was brought up to the ICU. I was with her through out. At the ICU, they managed to get her bp to 100. She responded to our voices. Alhamdulillah. I was very relieved. Now her condition is still very critical but she is responding to medications. I know she is a very strong woman. That is my mum.